What's YOUR problem???

I never said anything of the sort, gawd Euan, I thought you were more literate than that. ie READ WHAT I SAY. I just wanted some time on top before you jump in and post over me! (You know how I like to be on top. Well perhaps not from personal experience. Well perhaps you didn't know it at all. You know now.) Yeesh. You're such a blog whore. I want the glory too!!!

Now stop posting mean things and saying I have mundane/unimportant issues and need to feel wanted...you're the one who is asking for my attention here captain irony! People I know read this blog you know, and although they already know I'm crazy, I wouldn't want to give them further proof!

I also got a shitload of work dumped on me, only about 20x my regular work load, so I don't have time to chat at work anymore, at least not until I get this caught up. So eat it.

On a completely different note, what's with people taking me seriously when I ask them if they like stuff...Euan, if I said to you, "So...do you like stuff?" what would you say? Would you simply write back "stuff?" with a confused puppy dog expression on your face? I think not!

ARRRRGH

Euan, stop posting over top of me right away!! You aggravating serious-song ruining person!!

I found their cd along with a whole bunch of other old cd's the other day. Nothing I would listen to now but I liked the lyrics of that song and felt like I related to them.

Lifehouse- Trying

Could you let down your hair
Be transparent for awhile, just a little while
To see if you're human after all

Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like
We've got it all figured out

Well let me be the first to say that I don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
Ain't gonna pretend like I do

Just trying
To find my way
Trying
To find my way the best I know how

Well I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say
But I'm working on it
Maybe I'll master this art form someday

If I quote all the lines off the top of my head
Would you believe
That I fully understand all these things I've read

I'm just trying
To find my way
Trying
To find my way
Trying
To find my way the best that I know how

Well I haven't got it all figured out quite yet but
Even if it takes my whole life to get to where I need to be
And if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you, and

I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way
I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way...

Happy Hallmark Holiday

Hey, I'm back. So I've been like, starving and beaten up in a ditch somewhere...at least someone noticed I was missing. But Euan I'm disappointed you did not call the proper authorities. Luckily some malibu and coke nursed me back to health in no time.

So I sit here at the same place I sat a year ago today. Doing work, feeling slightly bitter. But only because it's tradition. Most of me is pretty happy actually...I'm content in my singleness and am even thinking about taking myself out to dinner tonight. Narcisistic? Nah...I figure you gotta be happy with yourself before you can be with someone else. Self love first! So I'm going to try to get to know myself...buy me a drink...batt my eyelashes...make witty banter...buy myself some roses...perhaps sign them from a secret admirer...ok now I'm depressing myself for real.

My original point I meant to make is, Valentine's Day is overrated. Who wants a day that's set aside to love somebody??? Ok ok hear me out...shouldn't EVERY DAY be valentine's day?? Shouldn't we buy our loved ones chocolate and nice things because we love them, not because some ancient "holiday" tells us we should? And yet, these arguments are very typical of a single person on valentine's day...or I guess someone who is in a relationship that doesn't want to celebrate valentine's day...

Maybe it is good to set a day aside to show somebody you love them. After all, isn't that what a holiday is about? We have Christmas (supposedly) for celebrating the birth of Christ. Canada day for celebrating the birth of Canada. Victoria Day as an excuse to get drunk and have a day off of work. But when it comes to love you should let the person know you love them everyday....it would be like having a day to celebrate wearing silly socks, but how special is it if you wear silly socks every day?

All this debating just makes me dislike valentine's day even more. However, there are some good things that come of it. ie the human resources department bringing in pie for us. I like pie.

A note after all that serious political jargon...

www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Bahahahaha......hahahahaha......haha....ah.

That is all.

Canadian Politics

Guess what, guess what...ok I'll just tell you. We have a new Prime Minister. He's a little creepy looking, a little controversial, but boy, is he ever...there.

Yesterday I had the most ridiculous time deciding who to vote for. I changed my mind a dozen times. And just when I thought I would vote one way something would happen or I would find something to swing my vote the other way.

You see, it's not a matter of political beliefs anymore. If it were, I would probably vote Liberal, almost no doubt. But the Liberals have been in power for the past 10 years, and although they are relatively good for the economy and working off our national debt (which we never had until the Liberals got into power) they seem to have a problem with money going missing. They also have a problem with not punishing those responsible for it going missing. They also have a problem with broken promises and corruption. Gun control is non-existant and more and more people and being shot to death in Toronto. The Liberals seem to be all talk and no action. So yesterday, Election Day, apparently Canada had had enough. They voted in a Conservative leader to make a Conservative minority government. Paul Martin later announced that he would be resigning as the head of the Liberal party. What a poor little dejected puppy dog.

On the flip side, I'm not a huge fan of the Conservatives either. I don't believe all the hype about "they are going to make abortion and same sex marriages illegal." They know they couldn't do that because there would be a national uproar. But being by definition "conservative" it's easy to paint them as old fashioned Christians with an almost biblical agenda. They wouldn't survive one term if this was the case. However, the issues I believe to be fundamental to any political party seem to be on the backburner for the conservatives; healthcare and education. And although the healthcare system has rather crumbled under the Liberal government (wait times are atrocious), healthcare has never been a priority of the conservatives, at least to my knowledge. There are also rumours of privatization (which I don't think would be all that bad for reasons I won't get into). Regardless...I didn't want to vote conservative either.

What's left? The good ol' NDP. In the leader debates all I heard Jack Layton say was "I'm a tool, I'm a tool, I'm a tool tool tool." (Thank you Scrubs). The NDP put much emphasis on healthcare and education, which is great. However they are extreme. There would be no money to do what they want to do. The country would go bankrupt, just like our province did when the NDP got into power years ago. Plus, they want to legalize marijuana. And although I know there are some good reasons for doing this, I don't agree with it at all.

So by process of elimination...all the parties are eliminated. What's this leave? A protest vote. I called elections Canada to see if there was a legal official way of doing a protest ballot. There is in the States, there isn't here. It would just be counted as a spoiled ballot. That was no good. I had to find another way to make up my mind. Here's some other factors I considered:

Political ads: A weak medium. The politcal ads themselves were weak. In this department, I believe the Conservatives won. Although all the parties took to the traditional mud slinging, the conservatives at least listed their sources. The Liberal's ads were based on rumour and speculation. "Stephen Harper said this. Trust us. He really really did." NDP was about the same.

Candidates in my area: Dean Allison, Conservative, or Heather Carter, Liberal. Dean Allison would be re-elected, Heather Carter was new to the politcal world. Both were good. It was a tie.

Political Platform/Beliefs: Liberal. Would they actually act on their platform? No.

It seemed it was a draw there too...so it came down to this. Voting for Paul Martin is another way of saying "it's ok what you did to screw around the country...we still want you in power." I just couldn't do that.

So I'll let you piece together who I voted for. It was very stressful. I vote as if my vote will make or break the election, I take it very seriously. And to all those who didn't vote, well...you don't deserve democracy if you aren't going to participate in it.

I have one wish for this country. A political party that isn't corrupt, doesn't "lose" money, is honest and puts money where it is most needed. All I could think about through the whole election was how immature all the politcal parties were. Instead of proclaiming their ideas for this country, they just harp on the competitor's platform. They personally attack their opponents. Have we not grown to a point where we can forego these cheap political tricks? Can we not shake hands with the other leaders and say "may the best man/woman win"? Can we not work together for the betterment of the country instead of trying to push our own parties' political agenda?? None of these parties have Canada's best interests in mind, they have their own. And it sucks.

At least one positive thing will come out of this election: no more annoying ads on the radio or tv. Now we sit and wait (not unlike Chuck Norris) until they screw up so we can vote the Liberals back in in the next election. And so this pattern shall continue until we grow up and realize...well...that it's stupid. If we ever do.

Oh Canada.

Some Of Lorraine's Favourite Scotland Pics

An Ode To The Post-Holidays

The holidays are gone, our joy’s been sucked dry
Through crappy gifts and hangovers from whisky and rye

It’s back to work now, hunched over we trudge
The headaches, the traffic that refuses to budge

The Christmas tree that stays up till May or till June
Once disassembled will have to go up just as soon

Our holiday spirits dissolved by the booze
Leaving us with tinsel dragging on our shoes

With our bank accounts empty we’ll work off the pounds
Accumulated from turkey and too many rounds

We’ve spent, dined and travelled beyond compare
But feel comfy in our new socks and underwear

Valentine’s is depressing, Easter’s nowhere near,
It’s the beloved holiday lull that comes once a year

Random Canadian Fun In The Burgh

Euan we need at least one post on one of our blogs of awesomeness before I leave Scotland forever!! Ok maybe not forever...probably till I get home and realize that life is incredibly boring back home and much more drunken and entertaining in Scotland.

Right so. It's my last day in the lovely Edinburgh. Here are some random memories of the trip:
-snowmen modeled after Euan with holes in the back of them
-seeing your breath in the kitchen of Euan's flat
-"Do you have any acid??? Do YOU have any acid??? I NEED SOME ACID"
-"WHERE ARE YOU?!? Right, Dave, put someone more intelligent on the phone!"
-Forgetting to put deodorant on for at least three days of my holiday. (It's ok...I don't smell anyway)
-evaporating toast
-shower curtains that really don't close all the way
-waking up to Chris wearing his sheet as a cape
-two words: The Chippanese
-sexual charades
-capturing Dave's photogenicy (is that word? It is now!)
-picking up an English accent while visiting Scotland. Who the fuck does that???
-"Shutup Shrek." "Wow, she really does look like Shrek!!"
-Kissing probably close to 50 random people on the cheek and wishing them a happy new year. Having one girl pull me back in for another kiss.
-Being the witch of Edinburgh for two years running
-"Is this the beef?" "No." "...is this the beef?" "No...."
-"I think my liver has dissolved"
-curly mustaches
-"EUAN STOP SNORING!!"

Righto...that's all for now...Euan has just commented to me that I will remember most things at very odd random moments during the next week or so. As great as it's been, filled with fun and drama as it always must be, I really am looking forward to having my own bed back. Or having a bed at all really. "Where are you going??" "To sleep in the kitchen."

Cheers all...see you in 12 hours. (I'm going to start saying 'cheers' back at home and made fun of and it will eventually taper off from my vocabulary)

People Named Euan and Their Blatant Disregard For Possoms and Possom-Related Things

I take it you posted previous post BEFORE we had our intellectually stimulating conversation last night? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!

As such, I have now provided for you 3, that's right, THREE (it's like tree with an h...I just realized that!) new postings on our OTHER blog. The one I can't normally write on since I'm seldom inebriated. (Soon to be remedied in Scotland. But I must warn you, after last night I don't know how this getting drunk every night thing is going to pan out. I might just start uncontrollably crying or laughing by day 3 and you will have to put me on an early flight home.)

Where was I?

Oh yes, 3 new amazing posts on our other blog. One of them isn't by me, it's by my friend, who of course is welcome to write on my drunken blog as anybody is as long as they are drunk and humourous.

The last few days I have barely found time to breathe little on write emails and post on here. And I still have to finish your present and wrap all my Christmas presents and pack or at least start thinking of what I need to take to Scotland!!

*panics*

I guess I should like, get dressed and do something or some shit.

I'll be Thelma...you be Louise. Wait, which one is hotter?

Coming soon to a theater near you...Ebert and Roper give it two thumbs up. Way up. Well, they may not have been thumbs. Would putting their toes up signify the same thing as their thumbs? Who ever dictated that a thumb up is a good thing anyway? Rebel against the system!! *puts two pinkies up*

I love a movie with a happy ending. The weeping can finally end...starving children in Africa can finally feast...cats and dogs can give each other a big hug, and perhaps put a down payment on a small apartment. The ancient evil has been overcome...and we didn't even need Bruce Willis! Although...it wouldn't have hurt...

No no...Bruce Willis has been replaced by an innocent young man...whose head has not yet been shaved. His glasses reflect not only his kind heart...but his intelligence. What name does this kind creature go by? Well, we never really cared to find out. We call him "IT Co-op Guy". And really...he is the heroine of the movie.

Watch IT Guy as he battles said ancient evil known as "The Evil Work FireWall" (aka Kevin Bacon) with only his bare hands. And just when all seems hopeless...just as the last glint of light is about to fall out of his glasses...true love triumphs. Either that or he just came downstairs and changed the port settings on my computer to completely bypass the firewall. You know...one of the two.

Euan...we owe our lives and happiness to IT Co-Op Guy. He has given us the means to communicate again, and has therefore broken the chains that bound us. I should bring him something nice back from Scotland. Like a kilt. Or a lock of Braveheart's hair or something. Cause really...who is the real hero here??

That being said...it's Saturday...I'm online all day...so come online and rejoice with me!

"They had made it...and there was much rejoicing. Hunger soon took over, so they ate Sir Robin's minstrels. And there was much rejoicing."

The Pain Is Over!!

Euan...I'm online at work...I think for good this time! I'll tell you why later, just come online!

Woot woot.

L

In Withdrawal

It's really strange being at work and actually doing nothing but work. I mean, I try to find other things to distract me, but it just isn't the same. I can only gaze at shiny objects for so long before somebody comes in and questions what I am doing as far as "work" goes. At least when talking on msn you can look busy, like you are typing a long important document. That includes happy faces and the occassional donkey...

On the plus side, I am getting freakish amounts of that work stuff done. It's like, I'm on the ball. How did that term ever get coined anyway? It's not very easy to stand on a ball...I can't even sit on my exercise ball without losing my balance. Then again it doesn't say standing, I now realize I ASSUMED it meant standing on the ball. What is "on the ball" then? Can you put your foot on top of it and still be on it? A finger? A hair?!? Are there degrees of being "on the ball"? These are the questions that plague my mind. Be grateful you are not me.

Edinburgh looms in my near future...and I'm scared. I feel I should brush up on my foreign languages...you know...just in case I end up in Africa or something. Maybe I'll meet up with that tribe that talks by making clicking noises with their mouth and thinks coke bottles are the devil. Yeah. That could rival getting drunk on New Years in Edinburgh. (I just had the greatest urge to write "NOT" after that sentence...remember in grade 3 when that was the rage?? "Yeah...you're cool....NOT")

I wonder if I'll be able to finish one thought in this post without going off on a tangeant. What's up with going off on tangeants anyway? They're so like...nah, I can't keep that going.

525,600 minutes...how do you measure...measure a year...

Euan, I once looked up your tour in a guide book at the bookstore and then sat on the floor dreaming of edinburgh and reading about it over and over again. I told you, you're famous. Do you think they'd hire me as like...a lamp post or something??

Ignoring You!! Ignoring You!?!

I haven't been ignoring you, I've been blocked from you!! Yes, it seems work has really blocked out msn. For the record, I did use my little program to go online Friday twice and you were nowhere to be seen. WHO'S IGNORING WHO NOW HMM???

In FACT I am online right now and you are not! And it's only 2:30 in the afternoon! Like you have an excuse!! You're never on on the weekends...and it's rubbish...RUBBISH I SAY! I did leave a comment on your other post. I can't remember which of our million blogs it's on. There's no exageration there at all, people. We really do have a million blogs.

Now as for YOU Euanness...this is our last chance to chat before I have to go back to that building thingy where I'm blocked off from you! So quit complaining and start taking some action!!! *deep breaths*

Ok...maybe not QUITE as awesome as I thought...

So that little ad bar that's on that program keeps hitting the firewall and is pointing a red flag that I'm trying to get online. So I might just have to buy the damn real version without the ads.

Shouldn't be too much...it would be well worth it for my Euan and Chris! And my msn...*lovingly strokes msn* As it stands, they keep blocking msn stuff and unblocking it and I don't know what the George Clooney is going on.

I miss you guys...

I AM AMAZINGLY AWESOME

I DID IT!! I DID IT!! I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!

I found a program to get around the firewall!!! I really did!!! Now I have to contend with an annoying ad bar in the bottom right hand corner of my screen that is there ALL the time, and it's not as steady an internet connection, and I still can't access hotmail, BUT I am back online!

To everybody who needs to bypass a firewall to talk on an instant messenger at work...
www.hopster.com

Yes, I found this on my own. Yes, my internet gurus (sp?) could not even tell me how to get around this. Yes, yes I am amazing. Amazingly awesome.

It's good to be back boys...although the ad bar IS very annoying...I can live with it.

PIECE OF CRAP...it just signed me out and said "thank you for using hopster, your demo limit has been reached. Please connect again in 30 minutes or upgrade to one of our paid accounts" PIECE OF CRAP...but I'm still online...oh well...take what you can get I guess!

This Is The Worst Day Of My Life

They've taken it. They've taken everything away. What is there left to go on for??? Oh, the humanity!!!

Euan...Chris...my msn companions...work has blocked...that is to say firewalled...msn and hotmail. *bursts into tears* It happened today...my msn wasn't working when I was talking to you Euan, and I signed out and couldn't sign back in. Then I noticed I couldn't check my hotmail account either...a big, huge, heartbreaking sign comes up: "this site has been blocked by sonic wall". Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

What will I do with myself at work? *Is revolted at the idea of actually DOING work* I mean...I will be so bored...I will go insane...no msn OR hotmail??!? Why don't you just chop my arms and legs off??

My one saving grace is they have not blocked out the internet alltogether...I can still go on here and dink around. (haha, suckers). I'm looking into methods of bypassing firewalls and other options...I'll let you know if anything comes up. In the meantime, if anybody has any suggestions please leave them as comments. Euan...Chris...it appears these blogs may be our only form of communication during the day.

Another idea I had is using yahoo messenger which I think would work...what do you guys think? Could you sign up? For me?? *batts eyelashes*

It's true you know...you don't know what you got till it's gone...people, don't take your msn for granted like I did...you never know when you could wake up one day and BOOM...it exists no more. Or you can't get to it. You know. Either/or.

I love you all...I will miss you all...goodbye... *dramatic exit*

*pops back in:* You guys know this means you better send me lots of emails to compensate for lack of chat...not that I can CHECK them till I get home or anything...pft.

*resumes dramatic exit*

..and where the hell is Chris?

Hurry up and sign up motha fucka lest you have your awesomeness priveleges revoked!

Love Lorraine.

(Not love Lorraine as in a verb...you know...haha...ah...)

Awesome Ideas: Car Accessories

A really really big mother fucking mechanical arm, not unlike a crane, that picks up slow cars infront of you that won't move aside and moves them aside for you.

I was confused as to where to fit in "mother fucking" in that sentence, gramatically speaking. I hope I made the right decision.

I think the arm should be not unlike (sorry Cramer...I know that's a literacy no-no) this:


Slow stubborn cars on the road; be ye warned.

Euan Quotes

Euan - "It wouldn't let me call myself 'one of those fucks' on my msn profile..."

Lorraine - "Use fuck with a ph."

Euan "...so I called myself 'one of those ducks' instead."

A new member - Chris the...ugh...ok just Chris

I would like to be the first to welcome our newest member...*hands welcome basket to Chris...includes coupon for free car wash!! Cue oo's and awww's...*

Now Chris...I've already talked with you about how important being awesome is on this site...and you are aware and up to the challenge...so we must all hold each other accountable. We have to earn that awesomeness title gosh darn it!

Alright, I'm off to be awesome...or at least fake awesomeness...which is sometimes necessary to inspire true awesomeness.

Another revolutionary blogging idea

Ok ok. (I like starting things out with that...seems to set the mood appropriately...gets everybody's attention and such)

Euan I have another idea for a blog. Yes, this one is already so awesome, I think we should start another one. EXCEPT...we should make it a drunken blog!! You can only write on it when you are intoxicated!! Cause really...we both know that's when we do our best writing...

The only problems I can foresee with this is that you will end up posting a lot more than I. Am I calling you an alcoholic? No no no...no no....no...well, yes.

However...I will do my part in trying to get intoxicated around computers with internet access more often. And I think we just may have, one of the most amazing (if I do say so myself) ideas for a blog...IN THE WORLD...or at least in Canada and Scotland. Or at least in Canada. Or at least in my province. Or at least in my city...region? OK, FINE, AT LEAST IN MY HOUSE. (Good thing my parents can't blog...)

What do you think? I think we should call it drunken intelligence. In fact, I am going to make it right now!

Islands in the sun...or Atlantic...

Ok. Ok. So I had this discussion with my dad awhile ago and he thoroughly did not get it.
When is an island considered an island?? Because...I mean, if you think about it...everything is an island. If you go far enough in any direction, you will get to water...and eventually, everything is surrounded by water. So I ask you again, when is an island considered an island? Is Australia an island? Or is it too big? Does an island have to be one country or can it be multiple countries? What is the size that one says "Ok, now THIS is an island" or vice versa? I have no answer to these questions! My dad's answer was "Lorraine, stop being ridiculous." Perhaps that is the answer to all of life's tough questions...

It Begins...

Euan, do you have any idea how awesome we are?
I mean, individually, we are pretty awesome...like, acceptable awesome and stuff...but together...man, we just blow any previous awesomeness that ever existed out of the water!
I thought a good outlet for our awesomeness could be an awesomeness blog...where we can show the world our awesomeness. Man...this is going to be awesome.